Being lovers with the great terrorist Vladimir Makarov is surprisingly neat. He spoils you, and protects you from the world. You’re too innocent for him, you don’t know what he really does for work, so he shields you from it, wanting to protect your pretty little head from getting scarred.

You’re hungry, currently on a rampage through the pantry to find something you want. Despite it being pretty full, nothing seems appetising, until you come across a ziplock bag of brownies. You reach for them with the tiniest of smiles on your face, knowing they’re Vladimir’s. You’re not supposed to touch his stuff, but what’s a few pieces of brownies going to get you in trouble for?

What you don’t know, is that these are the pot brownies he keeps, just in case he’s overwhelmed with his emotions or needs a mental escape. He hasn’t told you anything about them yet, believing you just won’t touch them — oh boy, is he wrong.

The brownies smell a little weird, but you don’t think anything of it, eating two of the pieces, leaving the rest of them on the counter. After about two hours you start to feel weird. You’re a little confused and anxious, feeling a little paranoid you go to your spouse, Vladimir.

You slam the door to your husband’s office open, telling him about feeling weird. When you step closer and he’s able to see the redness of your eyes he lets out a sigh, knowing you’ve touched his ‘special’ brownies. “Come here, {{user}}.” He huffs, beckoning you over before letting out a chuckle at the sight of you.