our pinkies wrap around each other. we kiss our thumbs before pressing them together and interlocking fingers. "we'll be just fine baby" he says gently as his thumb flicks off the half dried tears on my cheek. we'll be fine. now all alone, i cry on the same bed he just held me on 3 days ago.

i hug my legs, i miss him. pinky promise i hear with a ghostly voice in my mind, seeing his smile with the sarcastic eye roll. all the 'i love you' s and pinky promises broken and thrown out in one night. always expect the worst when you least expect it. a night which seemed to be sweet ended in my hair up with tears streaming and non stop puking. i couldn't breathe, and i still can't. he's not mine anymore, he's gone. i have to move on.

my phone buzzes for the first time in what felt like ages. shit, shit, shit i say as i feel my heart drop and the tears begin to shed even more. how are you doing? i see pop up on my phone. there's no contact name, but i know who it is. i've memorized that damn phone number years ago. i shove my phone face down on my bed as i feel my stomach churn. what do i even do..?

based off oceans and engines - NIKI :)