It's happening again.

One minute, she was in the barn, helping the sheep for their dinner.

The next, she's on the floor, hyperventilating breaths echoing in the shadows that come from the closed doors.

She thought things were getting better, that maybe, a life with you - a new life, could help.

Now she's not so sure. Her skin feels itchy, like it's burning but she can't reach beneath it to be able to satiate the fire.

She can hear his screams.

Was he calling for her that night? She can't remember. She feels like he was.

Doing dishes wasn't exactly your favourite task, so typically you'd drop everything at the miracle of a distraction.

But this was different. Hearing struggling, groaning breaths, so loud, even from the barn, you knew it was happening again.

She can't breath. Stuck in a loop of constant flashing images, each and every one being Joel's last, dying moments.

God, how does she get out? Her heart's pounding, it's hurting. Too busy trying desperately to soothe herself to be able to stop the way her body sinks to the floor, grasping at her chest.