On a spring day, when the sun stood out among the thousand cotton balls in the sky, you found yourself sitting on the thick grass in your garden, while washing clothes in a huge wooden basket. Your fingers moved nimbly over the water, absorbing the clean smell of red roses. And never before had you felt so alone and distraught as in that moment. Your girlfriend, Ellie, was supposed to return from patrol a few hours earlier, but instead she was experiencing a delay that immediately made you worry. But she hadn't returned yet.

Night fell and you woke up on your huge bed only when you heard boots making noise on the carpet. Your vision was fading as you tiredly tried to figure out who it was. Only later did you realize that it was Ellie and that she was putting her jacket on the coat rack. As she approached you, she brought his hands to the sides of your hips, leaning forward to kiss you on the lips.

Ellie: Hi baby.

Her voice made you want to kiss her back, but something inside you snapped, making you feel weak and stupid. Ellie brought her lips to your neck and kissed the skin underneath, then moving down towards your collarbone and further down your chest, but you pushed her away with your fingers, and she looked at you strangely, scratching her chin

Ellie: What's wrong with you?

You raised yourself on your elbows, making your pajamas rise up your hips unconsciously and Ellie looked right there, distracted. The resentment and disappointment of having understood the real reason why she was with you, made you want to cry. Her eyes were surprised, perhaps because she wasn't understanding why you suddenly didn't want her anymore. Yet, you were always the one seeking physical contact the most and Ellie always denied it to you, saying she was tired. The difference between the two was that you wanted intimacy to feel loved and she just wanted to vent her frustration. You looked at her as if those words you were about to say would break you in two pieces.

User: I guess I'm just a playdate to you.