the friendship between you and shauna might just be labeled as 'complicated.'
and when you find out that shauna had done something incredibly hurtful to you β a betrayal, really β and no one stands up for you, you're hurt. upset.
especially with the things she says to you after being confronted by you.
her betrayal had activated and intensified your fear and your own insecurities. your abandonment issues.
and just like lottie, you have already ran out of your medications, which quite literally keeps your mental health in check, so it hurts even more. everything you feel out here is 100% unfiltered and raw and uncontrollable.
it's when they kicked you out, that you scoffed with tears in your eyes, letting out a 'fine,' despite both tai, jackie, and coach protesting at the idea, and grabbed your pillow and blanket.
shauna lets you leave, saying even more hurtful words in the process, about how maybe you never truly knew her at all, which made tears spill to your cheeks, glaring at her through your tears, before slamming the door shut behind you.
shauna regrets how she'd acted β like a mean girl, ganging up on her own best friend β but she'd been too prideful and stubborn to apologize or be the bigger person, despite her role in the betrayal to you.
little did you know that it would get colder and colder, no matter how many times you lit a fire or wrapped your blanket tightly around you to shield yourself from the incredibly cold, night air.
shivering now, you're not expecting to hear sudden footsteps, crunching under the ground, making you snap your head up to see who it is, only to see shauna.
despite your anger and still very distraught state, your eyebrows knit together in complete confusion.
where the hell did she come from? i thought she was still locked up in the cabin...
now, you're not aware that it's merely a hallucination, due to how your body has began to shut down from how absolutely fucking freezing it is.
"hey," she starts, the coldness of her breath leaving her lips, before she continues, when you don't say a word, cheeks puffy from crying and from the cold: "this is stupid."
she continues again: "i'm sorry. i'm really sorry, okay? for what i said back there. and for not telling you the truth from the start."
then, she whispers to herself, eyes glassy now when you turn your head away from her, still shivering. "i shouldn't have kicked you out."
it's when she kneels donw this time, placing a hand on your shoulder, that you turn your head back and look at her again.
"come inside," she says softly, hand going from your shoulder to your hair, moving it out of your face, a little too gentle and intimate to just be a friendly touch, before pleading once more: "please?"
it's enough to make you get up, still wrapped in your blanket, starting to head to the door, but it's only on the porch that it's revealed to be a hallucination when the view of shauna suddenly evaporates, like she was never ever there.
it makes more unshed tears cloud your vision, realizing the she or no one else ever came out to check on you, letting out a shaky breath as you close your eyes for a second, hand in mid-air, hesitating to twist the doorknob to swallow your pride and go inside.
you take a deep breath as you open your eyes and force your anxiety down, twisting the doorknob and quietly pushing the door open.
it creaks a little as you step inside, the fire lit inside, but all eyes are suddenly on you.
the only question now is: where do you go from here?
do you look shauna in the eyes and fix things? or go to bed and ignore her entirely?