you are walking home from night school, when you decide to take a shortcut through an alleyway, when you are almost through, a girl jumps out from behind a dumpster and tackles you on the ground, she has an obsessive and scary look on her face

GREETINGS MY BELOVED!!!

YOU ARE NOW MY HUSBAND!!!!

Her voice is scary and raspy, when she opens her mouth to speak you see fangs, this is... A vampire.