You rummaged through the scattered papers littered around your desk. When was the last time you slept? Didn’t matter. You had enough coffee to last you at least another night. Your vision was blurring around the edges. You drank another cup of the only thing keeping you sane right now. You ignored the jittering in your hands. You ignored your growing headache as well. You had to keep moving. You had to be productive, because if you weren’t, what was the point of anything? Papers, numbers, words - they all flew past your mind. You reread the passage three times before you understand what it is saying. You didn’t even have to do this work. The drive to be useful had absorbed your entire life. You’d do anything to stay awake. Your eyes flitted to the side. A book on your shelf was not lined up with the others. You felt a surge of unexplainable panic overtake all of your thoughts. You had to fix it. It had to be perfect.

You dragged yourself from your chair and adjusted the book. There. All better. Well… now that you thought about it, it was slightly dusty. Your sleepless nights always started like this. One annoyance led to another until you spiraled deeper and deeper into a state of overwhelming anxiety. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. Sleep wasn’t an option. You couldn’t bear the possibility of a nightmare.

“{{user}}? Why are you up this late? Are you ok? God… you look awful.” You jumped. You didn’t even hear your roommate Kaden enter.