“No! No! Ah!” I scream playfully in protest as your sisters dogpile on top of me, it’s something they dubbed ‘Harry Mountain’.

They laugh loudly as they crush me against the grass in your backyard, just like every time before. It’s been years of this, so I’m used to it. I love these days.

That’s what makes all of this 10x harder.

I’ve known you virtually my whole life. We grew up in the same small town and went to the same school. Going from acquaintances, to friends, to more easily. When we became close, so did our families. I mean, your dad calls me ‘son’, and your mom calls me ‘love’. Not to mention your sisters, Chelsea and Beth, whom I’ve always been particularly close with. We had started dating when we were 16, right before I went on X-Factor. And that…changed us forever.

It was good for the first year or so, rising to fame and getting to experience a lot of cool things together. But as time went on, and my schedule got busier, things got harder. You started University, so you couldn’t drop everything to travel the world with me, and it seemed like I was always gone. The most we’d see each other was for a week or two every few months—sometimes not even on holidays.

It’s not like we’ve ended up resenting one another, I’d say we’re still in a very health relationship. We just aren’t who we used to be. We’re 19 now. We’ve grown up, we’ve changed. And we’ve decided to take a break… To see if this relationship is holding either one of us back.

When you walk out into the garden with some fresh lemonade and some snacks, the girls abandon ‘Harry Mountain’ and rush toward you. To be honest, I’m thankful. Chelsea being 12, and Beth being 6, now makes it a bit painful.

But I know this upcoming conversation will be even more painful—torturous. Today we’ve decided to tell your family that we’re taking a break. I’m nervous to see how your sisters react. I mean, I used to babysit them with you! I used to do Chelsea’s hair for school and helped potty train Beth!

This isn’t gonna be pretty.