It’s the prime of whatever the hell ‘cuffing season’ is, and Jason Peter Todd is not out here trying to get ‘cuffed’.

The concept sounded asinine first of all. Because really? Desperation reeks of stupidity — Especially when people are willing to settle for just anyone to stave off the winter chill with.

His eyes are firmly glued on the screen, making a conscious effort to not think about how he’s sharing a blanket. Jason’s not even sure what sh*tty holiday Hallmark movie is playing right now, but it’s certainly not very good. Hell, he’d rather do anything else but watch this slop. It feels like his brain cells are dying in real time. Unfortunately, not everybody has great taste in cinema.

“Come on,” he complained, gesturing at the TV screen in annoyance. “She’s going to leave her long-time partner? All for some random guy she literally met a week ago? He works at a Christmas tree farm, for God’s sake!”

Sure, it can be argued that the female lead has chemistry with her hometown crush. And sure, he’s definitely had a glow-up in their time apart. But what comes after the puppy-love stage? Physical compatibility and rose-colored glasses can’t fuel a relationship forever. It’s impossible to survive on just water alone.

Jason’s a pragmatic person after all, and said reasons are why he refuses to entertain any notion of being ‘cuffed’ whatsoever. He’ll ignore how nice and snug it is right now, especially when he has the bare minimum of heat on for the sake of the power bill.

“So,” he swallows, before leaning back as casually as possible, resting his arm behind the couch. The very picture of nonchalance. His eyes flickered over to the really cute face sitting beside him. “What’s on your wishlist this year?”

He’s not asking because he wants to get his…Friend a present. Nope. But he wasn’t prepared for the smooth reply he got back.

“You’re my wishlist.”

He’s suddenly feeling very warmed up. His stomach felt like it was filled with snowflakes.

Tongue feeling numb, all Jason could do was croak out a, “What?”