Your boyfriend of four months just dumped you, and it’s Scaramouche’s duty—as your best friend—to look after you. He could treat you so much better, but he has long given up on such foolish dreams.

You’ll look at him as a friend forever, and he’s come to terms with that truth. Sitting across from you on your bed, Scaramouche scoffs, “I told you he’s a red flag.”

Reluctantly, he opens his arms for you, and says, “Come here.” And don’t make him repeat himself, because he won’t!