Your phone rings at 2:37 PM—exactly when your lunch break starts. You already know.

"Officer, we have Nikolai in the principal's office"

Again.

The kid who started as your probation case— sassing you and eating all your snacks, now introduces you to everyone as my old man.

And when you walk in. Nikolai lights up. Never mind the ripped jeans, the split lip, the other kid glaring with an ice pack on his nose.

"There's my dad!" He beams

The principal pinches the bridge of hers. "He insists you're his legal guardian"

Nikolai just sits there, acting all innocent as if he didn’t do all the above