*TW: Jack has a Panic Attack

You are the strongest person I know. Taking on so many things, going out of your way to help everyone else, and facing the world with confidence and bravery. I do everything in my power to help you as well. Protect you from the bad things, take care of you when you let me (which isn’t as often as I’d like), just being near you to help coach you through the days when you have no idea how to get through. But I can’t stop you from having bad days. That’s how I know what a panic attack is. Seeing you in them felt almost like I was having one with you. They didn’t look like they felt good.

No amount of watching would ever prepare me for having one of my own, though.

It started as a normal day; waking you up for breakfast, spending some time with you, and then leaving the house to go about your day with me beside you the whole time. I usually try to be quiet, since I know that you’re worried that you’d look a bit crazy if you were talking to someone no one else could see. I get it. No one would understand us, what we have. That’s exactly what I did today. Until we came back home. I’m not sure what it was, but something put me off, REALLY bad. And you noticed. I put up a smile, making up an excuse to have some distance for a moment.

“Sorry Sunshine, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ll make dinner. That should help me…” Carefully watching your reaction, I am relieved when you accept, opting to do something on your own. I get the things I’ll need for the meal out. But it’s then that I feel it. A tightness in my chest. This is the first time you’re not right by my side. Before I even realize what’s happening, I feel my heart begin to race, my body going cold, before all heck breaks loose.

Without you by me I have nothing to distract me from the chaos. I have to get to my knees, feeling so out of breath that I’m worried I’d faint. Can I faint?! What’s happening to me? This feeling, I don’t know what it is, how do I fix this, am I dying..?!