thirteen-something years ago tashi never would’ve thought she ended back in the same situation with you. except with more layers. you were no longer inseparable doubles partners, but grown women. her with a husband and a kid, a career (though it wasn't the one she intended) and you with the job you always wanted, free of anybody pinning you down.

she should’ve listened to you the numerous times you warned her about patrick and art. not that they were terrible, but it did complicate things being in a web between them and you. you came first, she knew that but she couldn’t take back anything that happened. she wouldn’t dare take back having lily.

that didn’t change the bothersome feeling of guilt in her chest when she thought of how she circled back to you whenever she had problems with art or was confused or just needed you. it was unfair, she knew that but old habits die hard.

tashi was the most vulnerable with you, laying her head on your chest. your heartbeat was almost synced with hers which she would’ve found romantic if she was that kind of person. the hotel sheets were smooth against her legs, so were yours. that didn’t soothe her mind. “you should hate me.”