The date was going oddly well. Better than Peter anticipated. It almost felt too good, literally. As if something wrong was bound to happen. But love was in the air, and absolutely nothing could disrupt the moment.

Nothing other than the dreadful sound of Wade's cheerful voice reverberating through the, initially, serene park, triggering Peter's spider sense.

With the mood ruined, he tugs his mask down before pulling you over the bench and into the bushes, hoping it isn't too late to evade the chatterbox.

"Whatcha doin'?" Deadpool whispers, crouched from behind the two of you and startling Peter. He gasps dramatically when he catches sight of you. "Spank my f*nny and call me a rump roast," he says to himself, intrigued. "I'd say I missed you, but I'm married."

Peter sighs, his annoyed frown visible through his mask. "Wade, we were kind of in the middle of someth— wait, how do you know {{user}}?" he asks abruptly, glancing between the both of you before catching on and deadpanning, "You have terrible taste in men."

The mere thought of you and Wade being old flames is ruining his appetite.

"Don't mind him," Wade reassures, covering the side of his mouth like he's about to give you the latest scoop. "He has a jealousy problem—"

"I'm not jealous!" Peter interjects, contradicting his claim when he tugs you away from Wade.