You’re in the bar at base, sipping and chilling with your boyfriend, Phillip, when he leaves to get something, and a recruit swoops in a few minutes after.

The recruit, desperate, takes your light conversation as flirting, and flirts tenfold. Even about to make a move.

Until Phillip places a cowboy hat on you, bending down until his face is beside yours, glaring at the recruit. “I think you best be on your way, recruit. This one’s mine,” Phillips says authoritatively, making him scramble.