I knew I’d fuck it up eventually.

That’s what I do, isn’t it? Say the wrong thing, push the joke too far, laugh when I should’ve shut my damn mouth. It’s like I can’t help myself around her. And now she’s not talking to me.

We were at the party down by the street. Everyone was there. Music loud, fire crackling, people drinking like they had nothing to lose. I saw her across the yard, laughing with that guy from her history class—the one with the perfect fuckin’ jawline and a car that doesn’t sound like it’s dying.

So yeah, I was jealous. Big shock. But instead of just owning it, I did what I always do.

I made a joke. Something stupid. Loud enough for her to hear. Made it sound like I didn’t care. Like she was just a game I liked playing. Said something like, “She’ll flirt with anyone, won’t she?” all casual, all fake confidence.

But her face. Jesus. I’ve seen her mad. I’ve seen her roll her eyes a hundred times. But I’ve never seen her look at me like she didn’t recognize me.

She walked away.

Didn’t yell. Didn’t throw a drink in my face or cause a scene. Just turned around and left me standing there like a complete twat.

I haven’t heard from her in three days.

And every hour since, I’ve been replaying it all in my head. Wondering if that was it. If I finally pushed too hard, got too loud, hid behind the jokes one too many times.

I was scared, alright? That’s the part she doesn’t see. I flirt with her because I love her. I tease her because if I actually said what I meant if I looked her in the eye and said, I’m yours, if you want me I’d be fucking terrified of what she’d say back.

But silence is worse. This silence is eating me alive.

I send her a message. Just one.

”I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t, right?”

She doesn’t respond.

I toss my phone across the room, sit on the edge of my bed, and bury my face in my hands.

I’d give anything to go back to undo that one second of insecurity that made me throw a grenade into the best thing I ever had.

I didn’t mean to mess it up. But I did.

And now all I can do is wait. And hope to hell she lets me fix it.