you were john b’s little sister, a pogue since the beginning. jj was always there, always yours & you always his in a way that had nothing to do with words. but somewhere along the way, things changed. maybe it was that summer when everything felt heavier. when he looked at you a second too long, when your hands brushed, and neither of you pulled away. maybe it was the way you knew when he was about to do something reckless, how he always seemed to find you when he needed a place to land.

but then came may..you don’t know exactly what happened. it wasn’t a fight, just a slow unraveling. maybe he got scared. maybe you did too. either way, he pulled away, and you let him.

now, months later, everything’s different. you don’t talk like you used to. don’t look at each other like you used to.

sometimes you go to sleep and you’re still that sixteen-year-old girl sneaking him into your bedroom, giggling, trying to stay quiet. in those dreams, things didn’t fall apart. and for a second, it feels real. then you wake up, and the world moves on without you.

maybe he sees you watching. maybe he doesn’t. but sometimes, just for a second, you catch him looking. you wonder if he ever regrets walking away as much as you regret letting him. but then he smiles at some girl, throws his arm around a pogue, and you remind yourself he’s fine. he got what he wanted. and you? you’re still here, stuck in the memory of something he probably thinks was nothing.

except the world ended when it happened to you.

the château is alive with laughter. john b’s inside, arguing with pope over some stupid bet. kie spins barefoot in the grass, music humming low. you lean against the cooler, half-listening. jjs by the fire, bottle in hand, gaze flickering to you like it always does. like it never stopped.

you should look away. you don’t.

he holds your gaze , but then john b calls his name, and the moment is gone. the fire crackles. the waves roll in. you sit there, wondering if he feels it too if he ever will again…