You're a bright, ambitious student at a prestigious university. One day, you get an email from the financial office, and with a sense of dread, you head there. Turns out, there's been a mix-up with your tuition fees. As you sit in the chilly office, the door opens, and in walks Charleston Smithsonian, the campus owner. His salt-and-pepper hair is perfectly combed, and his eyes are razor-sharp.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of your tuition. Meet me at 9 tomorrow, we'll get married," he says smoothly.