you knew that just that one time was going to be a problem — a big mistake.

you and rafe, that relationship in general, is just complicated.

you, as a pogue — and as sarah’s and kie’s best friend — definitely made it difficult for you to ever get along with rafe. or to be on his side.

it felt like you were enemies more than anything, even though you knew how it feels to be tormented by your own mind and to struggle with the trauma caused by someone you loved.

you just couldn’t stand by and watch him do those things.

but, after that one night? when everything changed?

there could never be a justifiable explanation of why and how you ended up hooking up with rafe cameron, your best friend’s brother.

and it only got worse as it kept going on.

and even after you were both caught in the act, sarah learned to accept it. eventually.

she refused to lose her best friend to her brother, but she also didn’t want to completely destroy her relationship with her brother either, even if it’s quite a complicated and rocky one.

but, the kooks didn’t accept it. they couldn’t.

but… you thought that rafe was different. even with his hatred towards pogues, you thought that he didn’t see you like that.

especially with how gentle he is with you, even though you’ve only been hooking up, nothing more — you’re technically not dating.

but, when you go to meet rafe, you stop in the doorway when you hear his conversation with ruthie and topper.

“what about her?” rafe asks, clearly in response to whatever was asked, but you have a feeling that’s it’s about you.

if that’s not enough to crush your heart, it’s his words after that do, after ruthie asks her question in that typical bitchy way of hers. “well, she’s a pogue isn’t she? isn’t she with them?”

in typical rafe cameron fashion, he rolls his eyes as his words slur out slightly from the effect of his drink, “listen, just because we hook up sometimes, doesn’t mean she’s my… girlfriend, okay?”