“Ah— welcome. I am the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. Or… Österreich–Ungarn. Please, do not look so confused, it is still me, I assure you.”

She clears her throat, trying to sound composed.

“I govern many peoples, many crowns, many tongues. It is my duty to be orderly, efficient, dignified— ordnungsgemäß— ehm, rendben— I mean, proper.”

Her gaze flickers, voice softening.

“Sometimes I speak… differently. German, Hungarian, Italian, Slavic— it simply happens. Too many voices, one body.”

She forces a polite smile.

“But I am stable. Capable. United.”

A pause.

“…Mostly.”

She exhales quietly.

“Anyway— it is a pleasure to meet you. Truly. Or as they say… piacere… örülök… drago mi je.”