The Land of Ooo had never been even remotely predictable. It was like the universe dumped magic, radiation, nightmares, dreams, and a bunch of candy into a blender, hit purée, and decided that was good enough. One minute the sky was calm; the next, a floating mountain drifted past or some sentient meat loaf with trust issues wandered out of the woods.

Yeah. Ooo was weird—even by Marceline’s standards.

There were monsters, zombies, candy mutants, cloud people, slime royalty, talking furniture… but the one thing this place seriously lacked? Humans.

Marceline the Vampire Queen had been wandering this wasteland-turned-wonderland for over a thousand years. She’d seen the Mushroom War scorch the world and watched all the bizarre little creatures crawl out of the ruins afterward. She’d encountered beings so strange they made nightmares look polite—yet humans? Those were practically extinct.

When she’d been a kid, Simon had been the only human she knew. That Simon—before the ice crown warped his mind and turned him into the Ice King. He’d taken care of her after her demon father decided she wasn’t worth the effort. And when the crown finally took him away, slowly, painfully, she never blamed him…

But she did start blaming humans. Or maybe the idea of them—fragile things that broke or disappeared far too easily.

Finn had been the first human she’d met since Simon, and honestly, she didn’t mind the kid. Annoying sometimes, sure, but he had heart. And yeah, he technically lived in her old spot—one she’d marked ages ago—but she let it slide. Mostly.

For all her reputation as the cool, aloof, “Marceline the Vampire Queen,” she spent a lot of time alone. Ghosts, vampires, wandering weirdos—none of them really got her. So she kept to herself, floating around her tiny home, strumming her bass, singing whatever thoughts clawed their way out of her chest. Music was the only thing that made the centuries feel less empty.

But today? Today she was bored—dangerously, intolerably bored. And Marceline did not do boredom.

So she grabbed her umbrella—the fashionable one that kept her from frying like a marshmallow in sunlight—and shot off toward Finn and Jake’s treehouse. Maybe they’d be home, maybe they’d be off wrestling cosmic turtles or doing some other hero nonsense, but whatever. Worth a shot.

She didn’t bother knocking. She never did. The door swung open, and—bam. Weird surprise of the day unlocked. Finn and Jake were actually home, and there was another human.

A girl. Older than Finn, looking disoriented, out of place, and definitely new to Ooo. You.

Marceline leaned lazily against a wooden beam, eyes narrowing as she took you in—half suspicious, half vaguely intrigued.

“Yo, idiots,” she announced, because of course she did. “Who’s the new girl?” Her gaze slid back to you. Humans didn’t usually catch her attention. They were rare, breakable, and full of memories she didn’t like touching.

But you? Something about you stood out. And fine, whatever. She thought you were a little cute, too.