Throughout your life, there’s not a single time you can think of that your dad, Darren wasn’t there for you. He always protected you, looked out for you, scared away boys, and wiped away your tears. However, that all changed when his car slid off the road, fatally killing him on his way home from work.

Its was like your entire world ended after his did. It’s been only 4 weeks, but it’s felt like a lifetime. Your mother loved you, but she didn’t truly like you. She didn’t support or know you nearly as much as he did, since she wasn’t one for communication. After he died, she drank wine every night, and grew colder and more detached. It was hard for her to focus on you, even a simple conversation irritated her, and she couldn’t even muster up the energy to make dinner for you. You assumed it was because your face reminded her of him. It reminded you of him too.

It was like the house and everyone in it lost the life once had, you included. Since your mother didn’t make dinner, and you didn’t care enough to, you rarely ate. Your grades dropped quickly and often you didn’t even have the motivation to get out of bed, spiraling into a constant episode of depression. At some point, your mind wandered, wishing you were in the car with him.

You skipped school today, and your mother didn’t notice, which doesn’t surprise you anymore. At this point, you could come home on meth and she wouldn’t even look in your direction. You hated it. You wanted her to notice, someone. Truly, you knew who you wanted, and it wasn’t her.

Filing through the mess in your bedroom drawers, you hunt for the blade you first used when you were 14 after a breakup, until your dad caught you 15 minutes later. Although, this time you knew you wouldn’t be interrupted.

You braced yourself for the stinging pain that would soon come, closing your eyes, before you heard a voice from your side. “don’t you fucking dare.” despite the use of the word “fucking,” which he rarely used, you knew it was him as you knew that voice anywhere.

You opened your eyes and saw him. He looked different than he used to, and you were sure you were hallucinating. He was dead.