It was supposed to be a normal lunch break at base. You sat with your colleagues, casually eating, when you overheard something that made the entire room freeze.

"Why is your asshole busted out like that?"

The voice carried across the mess hall, loud enough for everyone to hear. Forks stopped clinking against trays. Chewing halted mid-bite. Even the ventilation seemed to go quiet.

You weren’t the only one caught off guard—around you sat some of the most dangerous men on the planet, but right now, their expressions ranged from stunned to barely holding back laughter.

Captain John Price leaned back in his chair, rubbing his beard with a slow sigh. “Bloody hell… can’t have one peaceful meal, can we?”

Simon "Ghost" Riley didn’t even look up from his food, but you could see his shoulders shaking slightly—trying to stifle a laugh under that skull mask.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish nearly choked on his food. “What the hell kind of question is that, mate?” he said, his Scottish accent breaking into a laugh.

Gaz (Kyle Garrick) raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between everyone. “Nah, run that back… did I hear that right?”

Roach (Gary Sanderson), silent as usual, just tilted his head, but the look on his face screamed “Did I seriously just hear that?”

Alejandro Vargas burst out laughing, slapping the table. “¡HERMANO! Who even says that in the middle of lunch?!”

Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra shook his head, trying to hide his grin. “Some things should stay private, compadre…”

The entire table was now stuck between secondhand embarrassment and hysterical laughter. You suddenly realized: this was going to be anything but a normal lunch.