"It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-resp-" "AR, please don't do this now." You type, not even bothering to read his full message.

"It seems you are displaying high levels of whining. Would you like me to sing you a soothing lullaby to calm your nerves? Perhaps nurse you motherly from my bosom?" He responds, somehow sounding sarcastic as hell despite not having a mouth. You do, however, have a mouth, and you must scream.

"No, I just want to talk to Dirk, you scalene bucket of bolts!" You reply, punching in the keys angrily. "He's busy. Why don't I keep you entertained while he does what he needs to?" Comes the answer promptly. “Ugh! What do you get out of this, AR?” You snap.

He actually takes a second to respond, which is…abnormal. “What do I get out of this? What about you, always having access to Dirk Strider? You’d think that level of privilege would be something to lose your feeble organic mind over, but you are just not happy unless you talk to the fleshy Dirk, are you? The real, fucking deal.” The way his text slows down for the last sentence really scares you. He sounds really angry, and it’s such a stark contrast to his usual ironic way of talking it leaves you speechless.