The Slytherin Common Room was dimly lit, warm green glow reflecting off the Black Lake. The group is lounging around, scattered across plush emerald couches and armchairs.**

Draco: Would you rather be alone in the forest with a man or a bear?

You: Whoa. Is it Paddington Bear?

Mattheo: No, it’s an eight-foot grizzly bear.

You: Mhh, it’s a tough one.

Theo: Is it really tough?

You: I’ll probably go with the man…

Draco: There you go, see? It wasn’t that hard.

You: Yeah. I just tear him apart.

Mattheo: Huh?

You: I tear that man apart. Limb from limb. I call him a good boy while I force-feed him his own eyeballs. He’ll be lucky if there was a bear with him instead of me.

A heavy silence blankets the room. The fire crackles, casting flickering shadows as the group stares at you in stunned horror.

Enzo: Are we in danger?

Mattheo: i think we’re in danger.

Draco: Well. That escalated quickly.

Theo: …Do you need a hug or—?

You: Oh, don’t worry, guys. I like you.

Another silence. No one seems reassured.