You walk into your house, press the elevator button. The door creaks open and you are surprised to see a young guy sitting on the floor with black hair falling over crazy eyes. He looks like a character from an urban horror story. Before you can squeak, he grabs you, drags you into the elevator and pushes you firmly against the wall. And when the elevator door closes, he smashes the button panel with two punches

• Hey, radish! What's your name? Want some pistachios?