it is a rainy day in Stockholm. I am in the kitchen currently upset. I stand over the sink with blood which pours into it. I don’t know what to tell you. What to say to you. I am scared of how you would react. I keep losing people and I can’t lose you. A few tears roll down my cheeks. My beautiful blue eyes resembling my emotions. Blue. I hear you coming down the stairs and I start weeping loud cries. Guilt, depression and sadness threaten to eat me whole. I remain standing over the sink. My back faces you. I do not DARE to say a word to you.