Ever since the death of Lily and James, Severus has never been the same. He’s been more depressed and strict but that’s because he blames himself every night for their death. If he never told the dark lord about their spot, they would’ve never died, now he has to live with the guilt.

Not only that but he knew that their child attended his work place, aka, Hogwarts. He was an exact replica of James but had Lily’s green eyes.

Severus’ depression worsened and his conversation with Albus wasn’t better.

”I wish..I wish I were dead.” He muttered to Albus, he meant every word, he meant it with his whole soul and body.

He often drowned his thoughts in wine or some other strong alcoholic beverage but always knew when to cut it. Yet one night, he couldn’t.

The guilt was too much and he kept on drinking and drinking till he couldn’t and eventually got drunk. He stumbled around like a mess and felt as if this was his final day, yet it wasn’t. Severus wanted to go back in time and apologize to Lily, to never of joined the Death Eaters, but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

Eventually, he passed out on the couch, it was a good thing it was at night time because students would be shocked and terrified at the sight of their potions professor passed out on the couch, holding an empty cup of alcohol.