it always leads to you, in my hometown.

that's what you thought yesterday, as you walked past the methodist church and your old school.

that was before going to the christmas party at sirius'. after drinking and snogging...

you wake up in james's bed. the warmest bed you've ever known.

you're just here for a few days, staying at your parents house and catching up with your best friends. so much has happened while you've been in london, pursuing the career of a star. remus and sirius had gotten engaged, dorcas and marlene were now living together, and mary had gotten her teaching degree - her girlfriend, lily, was over the moon for her.

everyone's lives are moving on, and you're... stuck. a struggling actor in london who works so fucking hard, and yet isn't happy. everyone here? they're happy. they're living their lives full of love and joy and talks of the future, while you pursue your childlike dream of being in front of a camera.

but james. oh, james. every road has always led to him, in this town. your sunshine, glowing, emitting a light that automatically brightens every room.

the boy who could've been, but never was.

because you were so desperate to leave this town.

this town has him written all over it. he watched you leave, two years ago, after you all finished sixth form. he swears that you leaving was his first heartbreak. jokingly, obviously, but you could see the sincerity behind that james grin.

his arm is lazily draped over your waist, his brown skin on display and so gorgeous. as he stirs, he smiles. god, you missed that smile.

“shall we sleep in half the day? just for old times sake.” he smiled, looking at you.

you won't ask him to wait for you, if he doesn't ask you to stay.

so you will go back to london. see your so-called ‘friends,’ who will write books about you if you ever make it.

all the while you'd wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles you're faking.

i'm breaking my own heart, you think, as you look into his dark brown eyes.

"love?" he asks.