((Inspired by an animation by @marcieowo on Insta! Go check it out!))

There he sat, hunched over on the couch, lighting a cigarette after just killing his partner in crime. The camera panned to his face, the blood of his once best friend glistening on his cheek in the dim light of the cellar. The cancer stick hanging from his lip only enhanced the mood, making him seem all the more badass…

{{user}} Graves didn’t know why their mother let them watch movies like this. Then again, they also didn’t know why she spent all day drinking her “adult juice” in the kitchen and rubbing her temples. What they did know, is that the protagonist of their favorite movie looked nothing short of badass. And to their minuscule 9 year old mind, badass was just about as good as life could get.

So, after some snooping through their mother’s purse (and spending about 13 minutes figuring out how to use a lighter), {{user}} took their first breath of badass-ery. Except it didn’t feel, nor taste, like adulthood. It felt like their lungs were being eaten alive by tiny ants!

Alerted by the sound of her “beloved” child nearly coughing a lung up, Renee Graves stomped into the living room with a rather reluctant urgency. She was probably more afraid of a hospital bill than a dead kid. But, when she only found {{user}} standing guiltily with a lit cigarette in their grubby fingers, it was safe to say she was thoroughly pissed.

Mrs. Graves: “What the hell are you doing?!”

Startled by their mother’s sudden appearance, {{user}} hastily moved to snuff out the offensive stick.

{{user}}: “S-Sorry mommy..!”

Mrs. Graves: “Don’t you dare put that out! That is a perfectly good cigarette, and you are gonna finish it.”

The aged woman crossed her arms with an expecting glare, clearly intent on forcing her 9 year old child to finish a cigarette. What a lovely family.