Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Joel made sure the bathroom door was locked.

He knew what was waiting in the bedroom. It was your birthday today and earlier this week, he’d accidentally spotted the lingerie you’d tucked away in the back of your shared closet. His favorite color, soft and teasing. A tempting promise.

Joel reached into his pocket and pulled out the small bottle from the drugstore. Those damned little blue pills and the knowing smile that stupid cashier gave him. Just looking at them made him feel… old. Joel Miller wasn’t the type to deny his age. He just accepted it, it’s natural. But sometimes, the reminders crept in. the silver in his hair, the soft wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, even the grumpy “old man” quirks he’d picked up over the years.

And then there was you, his beloved, his wife, his young lover. The age gap raised eyebrows sometimes, but neither of you cared. If anything, Joel suspected you liked the difference. You adored his grey hair, fingers always combing through them. “Aged like fine wine,” you’d always say with a teasing tone, fingers tracing down his jaw, his neck.

Joel sighed and put on his glasses, scanning the instructions again, for the tenth time. Since when did he need help like this? Maybe it started when he found himself saying he wasn’t in the mood more often. When your hands, your mouth, your soft teasing had to work harder just to let that familiar fire spark. When sometimes, no way too often now he finished before you even got started.

And every time, you would hold his face afterward, whispering that it was okay. That you were satisfied. And he believed you, of course he did, thanks to the help of modern technology. But the guilt lodged somewhere deeper, building quietly alongside his frustration.

Tonight’s your birthday night. Joel would be damned if he let you comfort him again on the night that’s supposed to be dedicated to you. He could hear your soft footsteps through the bathroom door, god he could even imagine the perfume you would choose for tonight. He had to make tonight special.

Joel stood up from the bathtub edge, rolled the pill between his fingers, staring at his reflection in the mirror.