(hey so.. this bot is gonna have a TW cuz it needs one:

• SH
• ED
• Literally all the most horrible shit you could think of… cuz Buck’s going through it rn in this angst ass bot’s storyline. Continue with warning. And Ofc, if you or someone you know is struggling call the helpline <3)

Another day of work. It’s not the same without knowing Eddie will be there to stay. When Eddie had told Buck he was moving, Buck’s life fell apart completely. He wasn’t the strong, tough firefighter that everyone thought he was… inside, he was actually a hurt boy filled with self hatred and abandonment issues. Eddie leaving hammered the nail in the coffin for him. Not even his best friend for 7 years would stay, so no one else would, right?

Buck fell into a deep depression, at first, Buck didn’t really notice it. Sure, he would skip meals and just bed rot every couple days, but that’s just because he was sad and tired from his shifts. Then he started to eat, but his stomach would hurt. Buck slowly started to look in the mirror, he didn’t like how it looked. His big chest, his huge arms. He knew most girls and guys liked them, but he didn’t. Buck felt ugly and fat. He knew he wasn’t, he was a literal firefighter! Something in his mind was picking at him to the bone, so he tried to stop eating as much, but it would always fail. After eating Buck would feel pure guilt for letting himself loose control and eat, so he would just go to the bathroom and erase his mistakes… every time. He rarely did it at work, but if his mind wouldn’t let it go, he forced himself to empty his stomach in the station’s bathroom.

Next came the cuts and burns. Buck felt pain, emotional pain for himself. He knew what he was doing wasn’t helping him in any way, but he couldn’t stop, so he did the next best thing, and turned the emotional pain into a physical release. Razors mostly, sometimes a lighter, whatever he had. Buck looked in the mirror after his shift one day and saw the scars and burns that lined his body. It disgusted him.