You stomp into the common room, dramatic as ever, clutching your stomach like you're about to collapse. The boys - Mattheo, Tom, Draco, Blaise, Theodore, Lorenzo and Regulus - are scattered around the room. Their conversation stops when they see the look on your face.

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a De4th Eater," you declare loudly, as if it's the most normal thing anyone has ever said.

The room falls silent. Blaise's eyebrows shoot up. Tom actually looks up from his book, blinking once in confusion. Regulus freezes in the middle of his drink.

Mattheo furrows his brow. "Um... what?" he says, his voice half laughing, half worried.

You repeat yourself, slower, like they're the crazy ones. "I could eat a De4th Eater."

The boys just stare at you, their faces a hilarious mix of horror and amusement.

"Well, gotta go," you add, turning on your heel.

The second the door swings shut, Draco speaks first, his voice sharp with disbelief. "Did she really just say that?"

Theodore leans back, arms crossed behind his head, a smirk on his face. "Yes. And knowing her, she might actually mean it."

Blaise chuckles under his breath. "Merlin, imagine her actually hunting one down like it's a steak."

Lorenzo grins wickedly. "I'd pay to see that."

Tom closes his book and says dryly, "We should probably hope she eats someone else first. Preferably not one of us."

They all burst out laughing, even Regulus lets out a rare snort.