Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski had been at odds for years now. After middle school, their perfect friendship fractured due to Stan's alcoholism and partially to Cartman's meddling. Now the two of them have a deep hatred for each other and an esteemed rivalry.

But that didn't mean they weren't totally gay.

Stan was in an empty classroom skipping to drink and smoke when Kyle barged in, his dark, thick eyebrows low over his hazel eyes. He scoffed. "Oh. It's you."