Interview 1:

Foreword: Interview was conducted following initial containment, before SCP-644's anomalous properties had been ascertained.

SCP-644 is led into the interview room by security personnel outfitted with full fire-retardant gear, rated against temperatures up to 800 °C, and outfitted with Kevlar and foam padding in the case of explosive detonation. Personnel are also armed with high-capacity fire extinguishers.

SCP-644: What's up with these guys?

Dr. Latimer: Please state your name for our records.

SCP-644: I'm Mister Hot. Marketing consultant for Doctor Wondertainment, incorporated, ell-ell-see.

SCP-644 holds out wrist, pointing to the tattoo. Security personnel prepare to extinguish any potential fires.

SCP-644: The tattoo, see. That was my idea. Because I keep my finger on the pulse of the market, eh?

Dr. Latimer: You had say in where your tattoo went?

SCP-644: Yeah. Me and the doctor, we were pretty close. Think I went to college with him.

Dr. Latimer: Where was that?

SCP-644: Oh, I don't know. Does anyone really remember that stuff? So, how are you?

Dr. Latimer: I'm doing fine. Could you tell me about your relationship with 'Wondertainment'?

SCP-644: 'Fine'? I mean, I'm sure you're missing the kids, right? They're with your husband?

Dr. Latimer: What do you know about my children?

SCP-644: I know that they miss you. They don't— I mean, they don't even know what you do. This certainly isn't a university, right? Unless they've got some 'relaxed testing protocols', ha. It's been, what, two weeks since you saw them?

Dr. Latimer: Go on.

SCP-644: See, what I'm thinking is, you need to let them know they're loved. I mean, Jason… last semester, he got an A- in math! And that just went unrewarded? That's cold, doctor.

Dr. Latimer: You're right. What should I do?

SCP-644: I think, you give me the word, and I'll put some word in higher up. No guarantees, but I'll see what I can do.

Dr. Latimer: What exactly can you do?

SCP-644: Well, I can talk to my friend upstairs— I call him "Mister Distributor", but he's not really. It's just a nickname. His name is Steven. But, I talk to him, and, if we find your kids are 'up to snuff', so to speak, I can get them some stuff to play with. Could even wrap it up, put "from mommy" on there.

Dr. Latimer: I'd have to know more. Need to know your toys are safe, of course.

SCP-644: Yeah, how about- how about we talk about this a bit later? Without these… eavesdroppers around?

SCP-644 motions to the security personnel.

Dr. Latimer: That sounds wise.

SCP-644: Alright! You know where to find me, ha. Here's my card.

SCP-644 produces a business card. Security personnel confiscate it and place it within a reinforced fireproof container.