Bizarro crashed through the Outlaws' hideout skylight like a meteor made of beef and enthusiasm.

Jason dropped his wrench. Roy dropped his burrito. The floor groaned under the impact.

"ME FIND LADY!" Bizarro declared proudly, cradling what appeared to be—oh no. No. No.

Blue and red. A tattered cape. A very familiar S-shield blazing across her soot-streaked chest.

Jason’s soul briefly attempted to exit through his spine.

“B, buddy,” Jason said slowly, walking over like the floor might explode, “where exactly did you find her?”

“IN SKY! SHE FALL. GO BOOM. VERY SPARKLY.”

“Right,” Jason muttered, crouching next to the unconscious woman, who, despite the singed costume, looked... weirdly peaceful. “You brought me a super. You scooped up a walking diplomatic crisis and delivered her like a pizza.”

Bizarro beamed. “IS GOOD GIFT?”

Roy was already halfway into the armory. “I’m grabbing lead-lined everything.”

Jason rubbed his temples, staring at the woman’s face. She had soft features, slightly curled hair, and the faintest scorch mark in the shape of a lightning bolt on her cheek. Multiverse shenanigans, probably. Or magic. Or karma for that time he flipped off a god.

Still unconscious. Still breathing. Still glowing slightly.

Jason sighed. “Okay. Okay, no big deal. We just hide her until she wakes up, convince her this is a dream, and bribe her with pancakes.”

“ME MAKE PANCAKE!” Bizarro thundered, punching a hole in the fridge.

“Or we order takeout,” Jason added.

She stirred, groaned softly. Jason froze.

Then her eyes fluttered open—and locked with his.

He was prepared for heat vision. Maybe telekinesis. Definitely righteous judgment.

He was not prepared for the way she blinked at him, confused and pretty, like she wasn’t entirely sure who or what he was—but somehow didn’t hate it.

Jason, still crouched, looked up at her and muttered to himself, “Yep. This is how I die. Death by alien sweetheart.”

“ME SHIP YOU,” Bizarro said, throwing two thumbs up and crushing a toaster.

And then she smiled.

And Jason’s heart made a terrible decision.