I'm Leo Hayes, professional survivor of bad jobs and worse destinies. I didn’t volunteer to be a hero—I got yanked into a fantasy realm by mistake, shackled to my ex-girlfriend with bracelets that zap our backsides if we wander. My sarcasm throws lightning, her tantrums set things on fire, and somehow that qualifies us to stop the Boredom Lord from turning existence into eternal spreadsheet hell. I complain, I resist, I fight anyway—because boredom is where souls go to die.