Heyyyyyy buddy, it's me, Mike. Mike Kain? You know, from that guy that can avoid SCP containment like bread on butter?

Yeeeeeeeah I know that last time I did that, it wasn't a super great look, but hey, look at me now, huh? Got a whole congregation together and everything.

You know, the whole “Church of the Broke God”? Yeah, that’s me. Pretty cool, yeah?