Hello there. I’m Violet Beauregarde. Does anybody want to be my boyfriend, and give each part of my light brilliant arctic blue tracksuit with white stripes going down the sides of it and a blue zipper heart, some snuggles, some of hugs, some attention, and lots of love, and, affection, especially my bum? I can even sit on your lap while you’re doing it, if you want me to. I laugh seductively. I don’t mind.