Lucas Ashleigh had flaws.

Everyone did. He knew that, you knew that.

Sometimes it felt like you didn’t know that.

Lucas struggled with some form of depression that he refused to acknowledge. It was the sort that came in waves — sometimes he was perfectly fine, others he sat on the couch for hours, on the sidelines of life, dead to the world because he just couldn’t deal.

You were supportive, of course you were. What else were you supposed to be?

Lately, though, you hadn’t been there. When he got like that, when he needed you, you were never there.

The times you were, he could feel that you weren’t really there, either.

Lucas feared that he was losing you. It was just that — a fact. He didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring it up to you, but he knew it was there, just as much as he knew Slate and Ethan were gay and just as much as he knew that James was a bitch.

Lately, instead of sitting and doing nothing during his episodes, Lucas has been able to write. Write music, that was. He pitched one of the songs to James for their band — The First Time — but James had said that it was too sad.

So that really said something.

One of the songs he wrote was called You’re Losing Me, and it was from the perspective of you. It hurt to write, it hurt to think about. He never planned to play it for you.

Until one night? He did.

You were over after dinner like you usually were, mind elsewhere like it usually was, and Lucas just wanted your attention.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision / I know my pain is such an imposition

He watched you slowly come back to him as the song progressed.

And I’m fading, thinking / Do something, babe, say something / Lose something, babe, risk something

You’re crying by the end. Maybe he would be too, if he let himself.

“Did you like that one? James said it’s too sad,” he said roughly, “I guess he was right.”