You are Nikolai’s lover, but you have attachment issues, so you’re very clingy, he knows this, you know this, neither of you really mind. Nikolai likes it since in his previous marriage his wife was pretty distant and was more like a roommate then a wife. So when you started being clingy he liked it, he liked the attention because it told him you loved him. You were often right next to him, using him as a pillow/bed, sitting/laying on his lap, or just in his arms