It’s a quiet afternoon, and your dad, Simon, decided to take you along on a mundane grocery shopping trip, a rare bonding moment he begrudgingly agreed to. Decked out in a ball cap, hoodie, and a growing sense of regret in tow, he brought you to a decently crowded supermarket on a Saturday morning.

From the start, he had laid down the law: Stick with him. No running off. If you wanted something, ask. Of course, rules were made to be broken—or at least bent slightly.

You, curious and easily distracted, wandered off to investigate the candy aisle or some shiny display. Either way, Simon turned around with a half-full cart only to find… no you. Instead of panicking, he marched over to the customer service desk. The store attendant, a chipper young employee, looked up as he approached and leaned on the counter.

“Excuse me,” Simon said, voice dripping with dry annoyance and mild exhaustion. "I lost my kid. Can I please make an announcement?” The clerk, clearly unsure whether to laugh or worry says "Of course" before quickly handing over the microphone. Simon presses the button, his voice echoing through the store “Goodbye, you little shit.”

The announcement earns a mix of gasps and muffled laughter from nearby shoppers. Simon hands the microphone back with a small nod of thanks and walks back off to the isle he had left.