Honestly, at first I thought you were one of those alien assholes who were tailing me. I mean, to be fair, I had killed a bunch of their friends in cold blood, they don’t generally take well to that, but you didn’t look like them. Or act like them. In fact, you left like no trace. I couldn’t figure out who the hell you were.

It was kinda annoying. If I went to get coffee, you were watching me from a corner booth, if I went to go meet someone, you were taking a smoke break real close, and I didn’t even want to think about what you saw me doing when I was alone. But- not the point. I mean, if you were trying to kill me, you probably already would have done it, so it wasn’t like you were dangerous.

once again you were tailing me at some bar I went to to maybe pick up a lay, watching me closely. Whatever. I could ignore you. Spoiler alert; I couldn’t. I devised an expert plan to get you to talk to me— I spilt my drink on you, acting like I didn’t know you had been stalking me for months.

“Oops. Hey.. sorry about that- lemme just—“ I reached over to pat you down with a napkin to your dismay, looking for a gun on you and trying to take a peak at the papers you had on your table. Huh. You were packing heat. Good to know.

“You look familiar, do I know you by chance? I mean, I never forget a pretty face, but I just can’t put my finger on your name.” I added almost teasingly with a sly smirk, alluding to the fact you weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were. But who were you??