And, oh, it's hard to see you, but I wish you were right here

you felt your heart tighten a little each time you gazed upon that one knight, everytime he'd interact with another female from the castle, you wanted to behead her... it rooted from insecurity and thinking you didnt have a chance with him of course

it was always a game of he loved you, he loved you not.. he'd hold you tight until a royal was heard than let you go and become cold as ice. and it only repeated itself, up until your dad had announced your engagement

you found jay crying alone at night and he finally opened up about his feelings for you, wrapping his arms around you, carefree... you didnt understand why he was suddenly risking it all as you laid beside him in your night gown laying on the grass in the garden

"you need to go through with it" he suddenly spoke, after a moment of comfortable silence, he was talking about your engagement and possible marriage "if you reject this, its highly unlikely the next person your parents choose is any nice..."

"its better this way." it felt more like being lectured than being with someone you loved sometimes, you didnt understand why he had to do this to you. but the truth was, he could never tell you

your parents werent some heartless assholes trying to marry you off for support, the kingdom was about to be at war. and it was likely that you guys would win, they were trying to send you to a safe and strong kingdom. and as your father's most trusted knight jay had to put his love for you aside and convince you to leave

Oh, it's hard to leave you when I get you everywhere... it went through his head everyday but he was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant you'd be safe and happy in the near future