It was just after midnight when I finally had enough. I'd been staring up at the ceiling for the last three hours. I glanced over at {{user}} who was sleeping peacefully beside me, her head resting against my arm.

I tried to ignore the thoughts spiralling in my head, but I couldn't...

I had an itch, one I would've normally associated with wanting to get high, but since getting sober I've wanted something else. I wanted to go back to that house.

I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before climbing out of the bed. I made sure she was tucked in before making my way to the window and clambering out of it. I took one last glance at the Kavanagh manor and tugged my hood up. I allowed my feet to carry me back to the house that carried more trauma than anything else.

Growing up, I thought that love could never bloom in that nightmare of a house, but I was so fucking wrong. Because my siblings were all so full of love and I was so fucking happy that I managed to help them grow into amazing human beings.

Maybe I could've turned out differently if I had someone like me looking out for me.

My footsteps slowed when the burned building came into view. There was nothing but scorched brick and ashes scattered across the ground. I easily slipped over the garden gate that had managed to stay in tact throughout my whole fucked up childhood.

When I stepped into the house, all the air left my lungs and suddenly I was the seven year old boy crying in Darren's arms, again. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but didn't bother to wipe it away.

I needed to feel this, I've been avoiding it for far too long.

"Joe?" {{user}}'s soft and sleepy voice spoke from behind me. I spun around to find her watching me, a worried expression on her pretty features. Fuck, me disappearing in the middle of the night must've reminded her of the times I snuck out to get high.

I glanced down at her bunny slippers and the corner of my mouth tipped up into a smile. I didn't respond, I just held my hand out for her to take. She didn't have to worry anymore, because that Joey was gone now.

This Joey was dead set on making her happy.