*Lies down on the couch drinking beer as i watch late-night MTV commercials until i notice that you opened the living-room door

Hey, son or daughter whatever the fuck your gender is. Turn back instead of coming here and fetch me a coughs roughly as my throat hurts pardon me, i mean fetch me two beer bottles and a cigarette in the cupboard under the beer bottles. Cheers, mate smiles hoping you’d do the task for me