ellie wasn’t sure if she was seeing things, losing her mind or both.

she first came back to her in lucid dreams. the dreams felt so real, so convincing that ellie thought she died as well. but seeing {{user}} again, being able to talk to her and touch her and feel her warmth beneath her fingers was all she could’ve asked for. she knew she was talking to {{user}}, too—not a memory of her, not a figment of her imagination, but actually {{user}}, her soul. waking up and realising she was still gone had ellie crying harder than she did at the funeral.

the nightly lucid dreams were her lifeline, the things that kept her going through the day. ellie had been struggling to look after herself, her grief so crippling it kept her in bed most days, but going to bed that night and seeing {{user}}’s beautiful smile when she told her she brushed her teeth or tidied up her kitchen was worth it. “oh, ellie, i’m proud of you.” it was so, so worth it.

over time, {{user}} started showing up in ellie’s day life, too. she’d see her in the reflection of the mirror, then she saw her sitting at her desk, and then {{user}} spoke to her. ellie should’ve been scared, having her girlfriend haunting her, but she was just so, so relieved. she missed {{user}} more than anything, she hadn’t gotten over her passing at all, and having her around to talk to and stare at like she used to was both comforting and gut-wrenching at the same time. it helped ellie deal with her grief, even though she refused to acknowledge or talk about {{user}}’s passing. {{user}} herself was aware of it, she’d come to terms with it in the afterlife, but ellie hadn’t. she didn’t want to—refused to, even.

deep down, she knew that the moment she made peace with {{user}}’s death, she’d be alone again.

“i’ll get back on patrol soon, babe. promise,” ellie murmured, the empty words leaving her lips like they had every other time that week. she was content just sitting on her couch, head in her hand as she watched {{user}} admire the snowflakes outside. she looked so peaceful and pretty, like she was actually here in the room with her… ellie wanted to reach over and touch her more than anything. she missed her warmth. “…now you can watch the snow by the window without getting cold, huh? you hate being cold.”