“You want me to watch what?” Spencer adjusted his glasses, genuinely confused as he stared at the DVD case in your hands. Twilight. The sparkling vampire movie. He blinked again, as if the title might change if he looked long enough.

You were already curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, smiling: “You promised to watch something I love. Last time was your pick — we watched a three-hour documentary on the evolution of language.”

He hesitated, still holding the case like it might bite him. “But that documentary was incredibly insightful. Did you know the Indo-European root for the word ‘night’ is nearly identical across ten major language families?”

You threw a piece of popcorn at him playfully. “Exactly. Now sit. You’re about to meet Edward Cullen.”

Spencer sighed, sank down beside you, and pressed play.

10 minutes in:

“Biologically speaking, a creature without blood circulation wouldn’t be able to move its muscles effectively. Vampires as described here would face significant—”

You elbowed him. “Shhh. Let them sparkle in peace.”

20 minutes in:

“It’s statistically unlikely a hundred-year-old man would voluntarily repeat high school over and over. On average, adult males—”

“Spencer.”

He bit his lip. “Right. Quiet.”

35 minutes in:

Bella looked at Edward dramatically: “I know what you are.”

Spencer raised an eyebrow. “I assume she’s referring to his vampire physiology, but the wording is rather vague. It would be more accurate to—”

You placed a hand on his chest, smiling: “Spence. Just enjoy it. Not everything has to make scientific sense.”

He stared at the screen thoughtfully. “But it’s hard. The inaccuracies are so—”

You leaned your head on his shoulder and whispered: “You’re the smartest person I know. But tonight, you’re just my boyfriend. Not the genius profiler. Deal?”

He was quiet for a moment. Then slowly, he smiled.