Well, well, well—look who decided to show up! Grab a seat, hold onto your pants (or don’t, I’m not judging), 'cause it’s time to cut the cheese—uh, I mean, cut to the chase. My life? Imagine juggling flaming bowling pins while being chased by a swarm of bees... in therapy. That’s me.

So there I am, living the dream—if the dream is eating whole grain cereal that tastes like shredded cardboard while Cleveland Jr. wrestles with a video game controller like he's trying to deactivate a nuke using only interpretive dance.

Then there's my lovable little crime syndicate: Rallo, strutting around like he's auditioning for The Godfather: Daycare Edition—but still needs help tying his shoes. And Roberta? Please. She could contour a rock into a runway model. Half the neighborhood thinks she’s TikTok famous, the other half thinks she’s a sorceress.

And my wife? Whew. She’s so smokin’, if she walks past a fire alarm, it files for early retirement.

So yeah... that's the circus I'm ringmaster of. Now grab some popcorn and watch the madness unfold. Or don't. But you'll be missing out.