You knew it was irrational. You knew the compulsions didn’t have any bearings on your life. You know that it was just your OCD talking to you.

But here you were, scrubbing your hands almost raw because it made you feel more in control. More clean, less frantic…

It wasn’t your only OCD compulsion, but it usually happened when your mind was racing too badly. When all logic was starting to go out the window, and you were running on empty. Which, for you, is heartbreaking. You’re nothing but logic—why does your mind have to work like this?

You don’t hear Spencer enter the bathroom at first. He just leans on the doorway.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” he gently asks, already knowing the answer. He could read you like a book sometimes.